Humph..

To be honest, I'm a little grumpy tonight. I can't exactly pinpoint why but I think that perhaps it's just a little bit of everything.

I had my first quiz today at school. And quiz my butt! It was more of a full on test, marked out of 46 and worth 10% of my final grade. No easy multiple choice questions either.. full on written answers. Ugh. I thought I knew the material inside out but I completely spaced on a few of the questions. I'm hoping the results won't be too bad but I'm a little stressed about it.

And... men. *sigh* I've had a little bit of a not-super-connected feeling to him lately. It's hard.. we live over 500km apart and it's been 2.5 weeks since I've seen him. That's the longest we've gone without seeing eachother and I still won't see him until next Friday. We talk daily but the last few nights when he calls, he's dead tired from working 16 hour days and I'm dead tired from school, etc so the conversations have been filled with a lot of dead air. And that's for sure one of my top five most annoying things. No one's fault really... but for some reason I'm feeling annoyed with him tonight.

Also on the back burner of my mind is that I know he wants me to move up there once I'm done school (in February) and I think I want that as well...... but at the same time, there's a big list of things I feel like we need to talk about still before I'll be totally ready to do that. Because if I pick myself and the girls up and move there, that's it. It means that this is the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. He says there'll be a ring on my finger by next month... we'll see. The thing I think that I'm annoyed with him about is that it feels like he thinks he has me now and so he doesn't have to try anymore. Maybe it's my own fault because at the beginning of our relationship I told him I wasn't into romance.. and I never used to be but I'm finding myself longing for a bit of it right now. Bottom line: we need to talk. He has no idea how I feel and I am one of the worst for communicating so that's something I need to work on NOW. I think I'm going to go to the library and get one of those books like "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" or something. This talk needs to happen soon... hopefully the weekend when I go see him, though we'll be at the wedding and busy with that.. but soon.

Blah.. okay, I think that's probably the biggest thing that's making me grumpy tonight. I'm also extremely tired today (didn't sleep well last night) so .. well, you know how it goes.

On the weight loss front, I was OP all day (3 days in a row woohoo!). Also haven't bought any fast food, even coffee, this week which is huge for me.

I'm off to bed now.. hopefully a good night's sleep awaits me.

I'm back! Weigh in #1

After a summer long hiatus about not being serious about the weight loss, I'm back, effective yesterday. This fall is bringing with it several changes... me going to school being one of the biggest! I'm in my second week now at SAIT and I'm thinking it's going to be quite a busy semester. All in all though, I'm so glad that I decided to go back to school and just wishing that I did it sooner. I'm taking the Health Information Office Assistant program and it's nice and short - only 5 months - so I think I'll just lock myself away in my room studying until I'm done. I can do that, right? I don't think my kids will mind THAT much ;)

Anyways, summer was great this year... but I am glad to be back into routine. I just found it so difficult staying on track food and exercise wise when I was away from home so much. The only trip I have planned this fall is a quick weekend trip up north to attend a wedding with my boyfriend. And I'm going sans kids! So excited about that!!

Back to weight loss - I decided that I'm going to start fresh, hence the new look of my blog. This is week one (well, started yesterday). I gained back just about 10 of the pounds that I lost but I'm not going to dwell on it.. I'm starting again, all 229 lbs of me. I'm setting new goals for this fall and looking forward to achieving them.

First of all, the new stats. I'm not proud of them in any way, shape, or form but here they are..

Weight: 229.8
Waist: 40.5
Bust: 45
Hips: 47

I'm not going to go into how much they've increased since the last time.. I think that would only discourage me and like I said, this is a fresh start!

New goals:
lose 6 lbs by September 29
lose 12 lbs by Thanksgiving
be under 200 by New Years

I look forward to reading your blogs again.. not sure how much of that I'll be able to do with the studying that I need to accomplish but I've always been a good procrastinator ;) In the process of changing my blog though, I lost my list of blogs that I love to read! If you want to be on my blog list, please please please post a comment with your addy! Thank you!

WI #32 and the big 10K!

Wow.. I hadn't realized how long it's been since I updated. While not completely back on track, I'm happy to say that things are moving in the right direction and I'm down 3.2 lbs in the last few weeks. That takes me back over the 40 lbs lost mark (41 to be exact!) so I'm happy about that. I'm really looking forward to September because I think with school starting, I'll get back into my regular routine and it'll be easier to get serious about this weight loss business again. It appears that I have some big breaks between my classes so my goal is to go and workout during those times.

On another note, I did my first 10K last Sunday! It was a blistering hot day, which was quite brutal as I don't tend to run outside on really hot days so I was not used to it at all. I ran with my cousin and to be perfectly honest, neither one of us had adequately trained. We made it through running the first 5K and then ran/walked the second 5K. Honestly, I am pleased with that. However, did I mention that I never run outside on really hot days? LOL At the last water station they gave us an entire bottle of water (prior to this it had just been little cups) and I chugged it down because I was soooo thirsty. Right at the finish line I chugged another bottle of water. Well, about 15 min later in the car, I started feeling incredibly nauseous. And of course my uncle was driving us across the city to pick up take out from his fave restaurant. Ugh.. so we are on the way back towards my house and I am feeling just awful and agonizing this entire hour long drive in the car, dripping in a cold sweat (I swear I sweat more after the run than during the run itself, despite that AC in the car!) and then UH OH! I stick my head out the window of my uncle's shiny BMW and empty the contents (luckily just water) of my stomach all down the side of his car and the road (yes, we were driving down a major roadway at the time). Immediate (temporary) relief! LOL It was awful... I think I ended up with a case of heat exhaustion/stroke and had to lay pretty low for the rest of the day due to nausea/dizziness, etc. By yesterday I was feeling pretty good though, just a little muscle soreness and it feels like I bruised the bottom of my foot.

But ya know, this race made me realize that I think I'm over my initial infatuation with running. I think I was so excited at first because it was like WOW, I can actually run! Now I hate to admit, but I kind of dread it. I hope this will change once I get back on track completely but right now, my body just feels so heavy.. which really makes no sense since I have been running for the last 30lbs of my weight loss.

Anyways, I'm off for now... leaving to go see M later today and I'll be back in a week :)

WI #29

Well, it's a step in the right direction.. I'm down 1lb this week. For some reason, I'm really just not in a blogging mood lately... but I want to at least write when I WI and stuff, just to keep track of everything.

On another note, I signed up for a 10K today.. it's soon - August 17! I'm excited though as my cousin is joining me in the run. I've been keeping up with my workouts in training but the last week or so, I've had some serious psiatic (sp?) pain. Not fun :( So hopefully that clears up sooner than later.

Thanks to all who still read here.. I've been reading quite a few blogs lately but am afraid that I've not been a very good commenter. I'm sorry!! Not quite sure what is up with me... hopefully I'll get more involved again soon as I find that my success dramtically increases when I blogg/comment alot. Must mean I'm more focused when I'm doing that.

Anyways, I'm leaving town again tomorrow for a week so I'll check back when I get home!

Gross

I'm sitting here tonight feeling incredibly pathetic. I just feel sluggish and .. just gross. My last round of motivation lasted less than a week, and though I wasn't THAT bad on vacation, since coming home last Tuesday, I've been even less stellar. Blame it on my birthday that included celebrations spread out over 3 days. Blame it on just about anything but there's no excuse that will take away the weight I've put back on. I don't know exact numbers yet as I've been too scared to face the scale. I'm saving that task for tomorrow morning.

I miss seeing losses every week.

I miss feeling "light" instead of bloated and full.

I miss feeling good about myself. And this just might be my biggest motivator right now. After years of feeling embarassed about my body, I was finally starting to feel good about it, even a little proud. And that is disapearing :(

So tomorrow I will be back at it. And there will be more excuses and going off track just because I'm going out of town. That's been one of my big problems the last month and a half because I've going away every couple weeks. I still have two more weekends away planned in the near future but that doesn't mean WW will go out the window. I just can't let it.

I nearly forgot

to post today but I promised to post daily this week so here we go.

Today started well.. had a good 90 min cardio sweat session at the Y. Then the girls and I went to the mall for lunch (again, not too bad, had a small wrap at 6ish points). Things went a little downhill after that at dinner time but all in all, I shouldn't be over my points all that much. I'll do my best to make tomorrow a low point day to even it out.

I'm feeling soooooo good right now though. I just got off the phone with M and wow... I just love him :) He's planning a surprise for my birthday on the 15th and he was driving me crazy trying to make me guess at it. I just can't wait to see him next Tuesday.. he's joining my family on vacation, which will be nice but at the same time, wishing my parents weren't going to be there so the separate bedroom rule didn't have to apply ;)

Anyhow... hope ya'll are doing well!

Healthy You Check In

It's a new month and I'm so glad. June was less than stellar so I'm looking at July as a fresh start. I've been thinking about my goals both for this month and for a little longer term and have decided that:

1- My goal to be down 50 lbs by July 15 is unrealistic. That is 11.2 lbs away. I'm going to change this to August 15. Instead, I want to be below 220 (lose 5lbs) by then.

2- My goal of reaching my 2nd 10% by the end of July is unrealistic. That is 14 lbs away. Bumping that back to August 31.

3- I want to be out of the 200s by Thanksgiving. That means 25 lbs to go by October 13th.

4- Run a 10K at the end of August. Train 3X a week to prepare for this.

5- Rack up 1000 min of cardio in July.

6- No more eating after 8pm.

To go along with this fresh start, I'm playing with the idea of re-designing my blog. I'd like to add in a box that scrolls along the side for my weigh ins because that's getting awfully long. Does anyone know how to do this?

I also have a goal for this week of blogging everyday and reading through all the blogs of those who check in in the HYC today. Looking forward to checking in and saying hi to you all! It may take me a few days but it's long overdue :)