Sunday, July 20, 2008

Gross

I'm sitting here tonight feeling incredibly pathetic. I just feel sluggish and .. just gross. My last round of motivation lasted less than a week, and though I wasn't THAT bad on vacation, since coming home last Tuesday, I've been even less stellar. Blame it on my birthday that included celebrations spread out over 3 days. Blame it on just about anything but there's no excuse that will take away the weight I've put back on. I don't know exact numbers yet as I've been too scared to face the scale. I'm saving that task for tomorrow morning.

I miss seeing losses every week.

I miss feeling "light" instead of bloated and full.

I miss feeling good about myself. And this just might be my biggest motivator right now. After years of feeling embarassed about my body, I was finally starting to feel good about it, even a little proud. And that is disapearing :(

So tomorrow I will be back at it. And there will be more excuses and going off track just because I'm going out of town. That's been one of my big problems the last month and a half because I've going away every couple weeks. I still have two more weekends away planned in the near future but that doesn't mean WW will go out the window. I just can't let it.

7 comments:

Heather said...

dont be too hard on yourself...sure its normal to be disapointed, but you shold also feel optimistic. optimistic because YOU decide where you go from here. and if you dont like the direction you have been heading, YOU can change that. I know I have felt helpless at times too, but you have to remember that you wont gain that weight back overnight and you WILL see those losses again. what I have learned is that there are always people/things/events that will get in teh way of weight loss. it seems like I am constantly being deterred from trying to stay on track. you just have to do your best every time and learn and grow. and the next chance you get, you can do a little better, and so on. I think you are doing awesome and have faith that you will get back on track. you will see a loss soon!

Cammy said...

I'm so sorry you're not feeling good about things just now, Holly. But you can pick up where you left off at this very minute and recover lost ground! I believe in you!

Anonymous said...

i've fallen off the wagon too and its so hard to get back on! Good luck.. Dont beat yourself up.. just get back on program and move on..

carla said...

good morning!
today is the first day of the BACK AT ITNESS that you totally have embraced.

it will be a good day and a GREAT WEEK!

love,
Monday

Manuela said...

Haven't "seen" you in a bit so I thought I'd check in.

Sometimes, I feel like I overdo it more when I return from a vacation! I went to Italy 2 years ago and came back weighing 2 pounds less (lots of walking!)then got home and did very little exercise.

You'll get back at it in no time--you've got a great attitude! Just hang in there and don't stay down in the dumps too long :)

Carolyn said...

I know what you mean. There will always be excuses to deviate from what we know is right, but honestly, we need to hone in on what we FEEL is right... and make those good choices. You should be proud of yoru body... you've come a long ways, and you'll go further! Find that thing that you love - maybe running - and just get into it. No thinking abou tit.. jsut get dressed and go for a run. I find once I'm in the clothes, there's really no excuse not to go!
Chin up hon... you can do it! I know you can!

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