Wednesday, September 10, 2008


To be honest, I'm a little grumpy tonight. I can't exactly pinpoint why but I think that perhaps it's just a little bit of everything.

I had my first quiz today at school. And quiz my butt! It was more of a full on test, marked out of 46 and worth 10% of my final grade. No easy multiple choice questions either.. full on written answers. Ugh. I thought I knew the material inside out but I completely spaced on a few of the questions. I'm hoping the results won't be too bad but I'm a little stressed about it.

And... men. *sigh* I've had a little bit of a not-super-connected feeling to him lately. It's hard.. we live over 500km apart and it's been 2.5 weeks since I've seen him. That's the longest we've gone without seeing eachother and I still won't see him until next Friday. We talk daily but the last few nights when he calls, he's dead tired from working 16 hour days and I'm dead tired from school, etc so the conversations have been filled with a lot of dead air. And that's for sure one of my top five most annoying things. No one's fault really... but for some reason I'm feeling annoyed with him tonight.

Also on the back burner of my mind is that I know he wants me to move up there once I'm done school (in February) and I think I want that as well...... but at the same time, there's a big list of things I feel like we need to talk about still before I'll be totally ready to do that. Because if I pick myself and the girls up and move there, that's it. It means that this is the man I'm spending the rest of my life with. He says there'll be a ring on my finger by next month... we'll see. The thing I think that I'm annoyed with him about is that it feels like he thinks he has me now and so he doesn't have to try anymore. Maybe it's my own fault because at the beginning of our relationship I told him I wasn't into romance.. and I never used to be but I'm finding myself longing for a bit of it right now. Bottom line: we need to talk. He has no idea how I feel and I am one of the worst for communicating so that's something I need to work on NOW. I think I'm going to go to the library and get one of those books like "1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" or something. This talk needs to happen soon... hopefully the weekend when I go see him, though we'll be at the wedding and busy with that.. but soon.

Blah.. okay, I think that's probably the biggest thing that's making me grumpy tonight. I'm also extremely tired today (didn't sleep well last night) so .. well, you know how it goes.

On the weight loss front, I was OP all day (3 days in a row woohoo!). Also haven't bought any fast food, even coffee, this week which is huge for me.

I'm off to bed now.. hopefully a good night's sleep awaits me.


Anonymous said...

Awww... sweetie! At least you are being smart about the situation and thinking it through. How many woman out there just think "it'll get better" and dive head first into a bad situation. Not that your situation will be bad or anything- you never know what the future holds. Like you said, you need to talk to him! let it all out! Hold nothing back!

And congrats on staying OP. With all that stress, thats an accomplishment on its own! Good luck with everything. I really hope it all works out for you!

Skinny Inside said...

I agree with Shanna. Keep it up, I always think the first 3 days are the hardest, and you did it!

Anonymous said...

Working out the kinks in a newer relationship is so hard. You have a strong head on your shoulders and I agree you need him to know exactly what you need and expect from the relationship going forward. Just listen to your won't mislead you =)

Good job staying OP and good luck with your test results!

nmburleson said...

Good for you for staying away from the fast food and the coffee. Great accomplishments! :) I agree with Natasha about the relationship, listen to your gut oh, and let him know what you want. If you told him you didn't want romance, but now you do, he needs to know that !!! :)

Hanlie said...

I'm so happy that your relationship is moving forward. This is the time when you have to establish the lines of communication and practice keeping them open... I know it's hard, but I think you're going about this the right way.